Where there is a will there is a WAY

Where there is a WILL there is a WAY. A old statement but a very true one none the less. The problem at the moment is I have no idea where my WILL has gone. I hate that I have even given that validation. The lack of WILL. Just writing it projects it out to the universe, I cannot have that. Recently I feel that I have almost purposely sabotaged my recent personal triumphs. My weight loss, I was within 3.7 lbs of my goal, I failed to meet it last week, so what do I do? Lost focus, made not so good food choices and the ultimate betrayal, stopped my working out. I love vegatables but have I eaten them like I should? No, I can't even think of any meal ideas to get that rolling, and worse I actually like to cook. I want to cry and feel sorry for myself. I hate not being in a positive state of mind, it saps my energy. I have so very much to be grateful for and I should be, just having a hard time seeing it, all I see right now is all the things I "have to" do. School is starting, I want to do the portfolio packet for both Ava and Lila, I have another Ortho evaluation for Ava tomorrow for a 2nd opinion, the 1st one wants to extract 4 teeth, I sent an email to my swim community of opinions regarding the Life Skills class Lila will be in and the 2nd grade teachers available for Ava, on top of that we have a facility inspection coming up while my boss is gone on vacation, which leaves me the main target, oh joy. My husband and I are in the process of putting my parent's first home on the market (emotional), it is in another city and just takes far too much upkeep for little profit. Decisions. I feel toxic.