Grown up? Really? I don't think so.......

I am a little hesitant to post this but I have some conflicting feelings I need to sort out. This is basically my journal so some of this may be experianced by some and not others and I may ramble down various paths, forgive me. We had a family trip to one of my sister in laws homes, not in our city. During the course of the 4 day visit, I could "feel" tension, annoyance and some hostility directed to us. I alternated between angry, empathy, sympathy for this person(s). I know we all have our ways of being, but when a major effort is put forth by everyone to make a visit happen, I would hope any percieved slights could be pushed aside, especially for the greater good of the gathering. Since no communication was made to me as to what was "wrong" I tried to empathize because I do know that being around family can be stressful, but coping is a skill and it needs to be learned and practiced.It also makes me sad because I would hate that everytime this family gets together, that instead of leaving with good feelings it almost turns to the person(s) fleeing. I don't come from a large family and both my parents are gone no everything was not perfect, heck my sister and I are different as night and day, so I tried to be at least sympathetic but it is HARD since I don't know what the heck happened! I am angry because our oldest daughter is 7 and she was so excited to meet her cousin (went well) but then to have pressumably mature adults somehow make her feel she did something wrong or is not worthly of being spoken to in a respectful way. I have been around children all my life and I know they can be downright annoying but come on, they are children. Now that I am writing this I am not really sure I want my children exposed to this type of situation again, I do alot of explaining to Ava about people being different and sometimes those differences can not be very nice, but you move forward and not let it cloud your opinion of all people, now she is not seeing how she can be tolerant of others if grown adults don't. Does that make sense at all? In the end I want to move past this, I know life is too damn short to worry about all the toes I or my family could possibly tread on. I have kind and loving children, I will continue to have them seek out the good in people and if someone closes them off it will be that persons loss. I work hard to stay positive, I have a lot to worry about don't ya think? I have a lot to be pissed off about too if you think about it, do I bring it to the surface at the most inappropriate time? No. WHY? Because it takes too much energy and I don't have that to waste.