Raising Awareness, Raising $$
11 years ago
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Grown up? Really? I don't think so.......
I am a little hesitant to post this but I have some conflicting feelings I need to sort out. This is basically my journal so some of this may be experianced by some and not others and I may ramble down various paths, forgive me. We had a family trip to one of my sister in laws homes, not in our city. During the course of the 4 day visit, I could "feel" tension, annoyance and some hostility directed to us. I alternated between angry, empathy, sympathy for this person(s). I know we all have our ways of being, but when a major effort is put forth by everyone to make a visit happen, I would hope any percieved slights could be pushed aside, especially for the greater good of the gathering. Since no communication was made to me as to what was "wrong" I tried to empathize because I do know that being around family can be stressful, but coping is a skill and it needs to be learned and practiced.It also makes me sad because I would hate that everytime this family gets together, that instead of leaving with good feelings it almost turns to the person(s) fleeing. I don't come from a large family and both my parents are gone no everything was not perfect, heck my sister and I are different as night and day, so I tried to be at least sympathetic but it is HARD since I don't know what the heck happened! I am angry because our oldest daughter is 7 and she was so excited to meet her cousin (went well) but then to have pressumably mature adults somehow make her feel she did something wrong or is not worthly of being spoken to in a respectful way. I have been around children all my life and I know they can be downright annoying but come on, they are children. Now that I am writing this I am not really sure I want my children exposed to this type of situation again, I do alot of explaining to Ava about people being different and sometimes those differences can not be very nice, but you move forward and not let it cloud your opinion of all people, now she is not seeing how she can be tolerant of others if grown adults don't. Does that make sense at all? In the end I want to move past this, I know life is too damn short to worry about all the toes I or my family could possibly tread on. I have kind and loving children, I will continue to have them seek out the good in people and if someone closes them off it will be that persons loss. I work hard to stay positive, I have a lot to worry about don't ya think? I have a lot to be pissed off about too if you think about it, do I bring it to the surface at the most inappropriate time? No. WHY? Because it takes too much energy and I don't have that to waste.
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5 comments:
Tes,
I don't really know what happened but I can relate it to how I deal with things in my own family. First off I am and always have been non confrontational. I hate fighting and strive for peace. I know easier said than done. I myself even used to lose my head when it came to my mother. Save that for another post.:) Anyway since we had Noah I am so stressed and have, as you said, enough to deal with. I really just don't let things upset me because life is to short and it is to exhausting. If someone else gets mad (usually my mom), I just let them have some space. That is all you really can do especially when you don't even know why they are mad. Good luck.
Hi, Tes. I had a few comments in mind regarding your post, but Julie already said it all. I have a few difficult relationships in my family, and the older I get, the more I realize I can't change anybody. I would just get more frustrated, so I have decided not to try. I just keep things amicable, keep the peace, smile. Of course if I needed to defend my children I would without hesitation, but I am not sure what your situation was. These are people I don't see often and choose not to be close to, so it just works for me. Maybe this wouldn't work for everybody, and maybe it's just taking the easy way out. I don't know if this helps, but if you are frustrated and just need someone to lend an ear, let me know! And thanks for the comment on my blog!
It's too bad when family, (the one's who are supposed to be your support)causes you more stress and grief. Since having Michaela and her issues, I have definately gone into the "pick your battles" mode. You have to worry about you and the well being of your family.
Tes,
Like everyone else has said - since having Payton I just decided I have enough to deal with - I don't need them adding to it. I show up, smile, do my best, and go home and forget. It's sad when the ones who are supposed to support you are the ones who cause you the most grief
My husband's family is htat way. You feel like you have to run away sometimes becasue of all the negativity that surrounds them.
It is not worth the battle and you can't change somethign that has gone on for a long time. We spend less and less time with Chris' family because of this. Sad, but really it is their own faults. They are choosing to hold this anger and I don't think my kids need to be around it and neither do I.
Noel
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